Yeah this is my little spiel on religion.
I grew up in a highly religious family, well should i say i had a religios mother. I was taken to church every sunday and enjoyed it however was only a kid so i was just enjoying whatever i was told to like. During this time i was always plagued by nightmares. I remember never being able to sleep until i was wholy exhausted or sleeping in bed with my parents. Sometimes i was beat up for being afraid othertimes i was welcome. My parents were disfunctional my dad was a drug atticed and my mum was a stupid teen. I got in trouble alot being a kid, digging holes, playing in gutters, swimming in our local creek and was a mild half disobedient. I remember whenever i got into trouble being afraid, sometimes i'd get beat until i was bleeding othertimes worse.
Then my dad left, his gambling took our house and left my mother hating men. My 2 sisters missed my dad and always grew up wanting to be with him. I felt nothing but now i had a half broken mum and 2 sisters to look after. We still went to church, but we moved house. We were in a new suburb and i was at a new school. Such strong belief always by my mother. We had god to thank for having each other, god to thank for being alive. I didn't feel hapiness for anything, all i wanted was for my mum and two sisters to go somewhere. I grew up trying to help free them from their sadness but both my sisters hated each other and they both hated my mum. All i wanted was for them to be happy, it was never easy.
I got older and start highschool, our family was still poor but i had started work and could be of help even more. I still didnt feel like i had any other purpose to live, i didnt want anything, so what was the point in a god. I made friends in highschool, was odd though. I could adapt to fit in and was always accepted but always stood as an observer, a fill in. I had no strong passion or desires, i had relationships with girls but was always at a distance. I could make them happy but it was something they couldnt return. Only a single side to the coin, its why my relationships never worked. Loving someone but not wanting any love in return. I was the manwhore of our school. It was my label. Still i was stumbling blind. God exists i knew but for who?
During my relationships my mother always told me not to sleep with someone till i was married. This gave me a complex i feared woman and was attracted to them. "Lust is sin, be good to a woman, treat them right," words of a stupid woman, a mother desperate and afraid. For these reasons i disowned god, i hated religion. I hated everything. I wanted to destroy the world and everyone in it. The words in my mind that warped my perspective intirely. Nothing good ever happend in my world, i was bought up by a loser and had no male influences. I wanted to kill, i wanted to taste my own blood and the blood of others. All i could see in mind behind my smiles and acts of courteousness were blatant hatred. I stopped having nightmares. I strengthened my body but still just and observer.
~thats enough for now, just fragments of my insanity and reality
- Mood:
Neutral
God the savior, manwhore
I Love you like a kid loves candy
........I Love you like a kid loves candy
........I Love you like a kid loves candy
.......I Love you like a kid loves candy
......I Love you like a kid loves candy
.....I Love you like a kid loves candy
....I Love you like a kid loves candy
...I Love you like a kid loves candy
..I Love you like a kid loves candy
.I Love you like a kid loves candy
.I Love you like a kid loves candy
.I Love you like a kid loves candy
..I Love you like a kid loves candy
...I Love you like a kid loves candy
....I Love you like a kid loves candy
.....I Love you like a kid loves candy
......I Love you like a kid loves candy
.......I Love youl like a kid loves candy
........I Love you like a kid loves candy
........I Love you like a kid loves candy
........I Love you like a kid loves candy
.......I Love you like a kid loves candy
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SeNd ThIs To AlL ThE FrIeNdZ ThAt U lUv....N iF ThEy DoNt SeNd It BaCk To U.....ThEiR NoT tRuE FrIeNdZ....
1 person - you are lonely
2 people - you have a couple friends, but not many
3 people - you have a few friends...
4 people - you have some friends...
5 people - you have several friends!
6 people - you have many friends!
7 people - you are SOOOO loved!
8 people - everyone loves you
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"CRACK. It's what's for dinner."
Thanks for your welcomes!
Thanks for all your awesome art.
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Enjoy your stay on DA.
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